What I am reflecting?
Lately, I’ve become aware of my urge to give advice and to “criticize” the right way to do certain things. For example, when my son behaves a certain way, I tend to have an opinion on how he should approach things.
He recently started learning to ride a bicycle. At first, he rode a four-wheel bike. Now, he’s still using it, but the back support wheels don’t really touch the ground anymore. I noticed that about 90% of the time, he’s actually riding on just two wheels — four minus two.
What I’ve observed is this: I often find myself shouting from behind, “Jayden, you need to focus in front! Where you look is where you’re going to go.” I also say things like, “That’s not the right way to pedal. You should go a bit faster… now a bit slower…”
As I’m instructing him, it feels like I’m giving a lot of advice. But the truth is… I really, really have no idea what’s going on in his mind. Maybe he’s maxed out his mental bandwidth — like his internal CPU is overloaded and he just can’t process what I’m saying. Or maybe he’s genuinely trying, but his muscles just can’t follow the commands yet.
Honestly, I don’t know. And maybe… he doesn’t either.
This happens again and again in my life. I often catch myself wanting to instruct, advise, or share my opinion on the “right” way to do something. But when I put myself in his shoes, I realize that — to him — it might sound like judgment or criticism. Sometimes, it is.
Now, with this realization, I’m choosing to be more intentional. I want to motivate and encourage instead.
So I started doing this — using simple, yet magical words:
“Good job!”
“That’s great!”
“You got this!”
These are easy to process. Simple to understand. And purely motivating.
With this small change, I’ve noticed that my own stress — from overthinking — has reduced significantly. I’m also enjoying the process more. These encouraging words don’t just uplift him — they uplift me too. I can feel my energy level rising.
So now, I’m embracing encouragement and motivation. I want to lift my son and the people around me up, instead of pressing them down. They’ve probably already done so much trying to live up to my expectations. But they don’t need to — they deserve to experience life in their own way.
If you’re reading this, ask yourself…
What are your thoughts?
And what are some encouraging words you say to yourself… or to others?
Quote I’m pondering
The most important thing is to keep the most important thing the most important thing.
Affirmation I used
What the mind can conceive and believe. The mind can achieve.