What I am reflecting?
I read a book by Richard Bandler, “Guide to Trance-Formation.” Just a few covers he mentioned that humans don’t behave because of survival; instead, human behavior is the way it is because of familiarity.
Yes. You’re not in your comfort zone. You’re in your familiar zone.
It struck me that most changes are difficult not because it’s the change I want, but because the change is not what I’m familiar with.
He said there are 3 possible situations that will make a person do things out of familiarity. They are:
- People become so sick of having the problem that they really decide to change.
- They somehow see their problem from a new perspective or a new light.
- New and appealing options must be found or created and pursued.
The key here is if people have options, they will choose the best choice for them. However, most of the time, there are no options available.
I remembered that in the past months, I started to wear a blazer to my office as my default “jacket.” Let me tell you, it was really uncomfortable because in the tech company I work in, most people wear hoodies and t-shirts to work.
So, at first, people would tell me, “Hey Billy, got customer coming?” or “Billy, today got presentation?”
Actually, no. I just gave some reason for why I wore it.
The truth is, I chose to change because it felt more professional to dress properly for work. Plus, it would make my colleagues more familiar with wearing professional attire in the office.
After a few months, no one seemed alien to my attire, and I actually felt much more comfortable with it.
This resonates with me about why people change, and that’s why in coaching, I usually draw out options and let people step out of themselves and look at the situation more objectively.
Ask yourself: are you really sick of your problem? If yes, that’s a good sign you can make a positive change. And if you really need help, you can reach out to a professional such as a coach.
I’m here to help!
Quote I’m pondering
“Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy.” – Epictetus
Affirmation I used
Positive attitude brings me advantages and benefits that I desire.