What I am reflecting?
As I grew up, my upbringing was mostly centered around certain values—values such as respect, discipline, hard work, and being smart. Naturally, I now pass down these same values to my children.
But it doesn’t stop there. There are many more values that are beneficial for them. A few examples include decision-making, flexibility, compassion, respect, gratitude, hygiene… and the list goes on with all the good values.
Whenever a situation arises, I try to map their behavior back to these values—being as precise as possible to make sure they learn something from it.
This feels like a good way, right?
However, most of the time there’s resistance to change, because obviously they feel their behavior is right for them. And let’s be honest, change is never easy.
For example, my son might start shouting in a restaurant. We all know this isn’t acceptable behavior, because respect for others who are eating in the same place and having good manners matter.
In that moment, I could choose to express my disappointment and scold him. But based on my experience, that doesn’t necessarily make him behave any better.
So I pause and ask myself: What’s a better alternative?
Looking back, I realize that prioritizing values is crucial. Right now, I believe that cultivating a strong father-son relationship is more important than enforcing every single value in the moment. So, I choose to take a step back, allow him to express himself, and respond with consideration and understanding.
At this stage, I care more about our relationship than anything else. I trust that his behavior and values will fall into place over time, because he feels more secure and has more trust in me through the relationship we are building.
As you’re reading this, what is your priority and intention when you handle difficult situations with your children—or even with your friends?
Quote I’m pondering
When there is growth, changes are automatic. If I fear change, how can there be growth?
Affirmation I used
The rest of my life. Is the best of my life.